A Stable Float
by FridayFrige
Summary: RufusxAlicia. No one was there to teach them not to feel remorse for a beautiful act.


**Pairing:** RufusxAlicia  
**Introduction: **There is no sex scene in this fic or anything like that; it is only rated M because of the subject matter. It takes place in a universe where Rufus and Alicia were able to consummate their relationship. I didn't really work out the how/why of that bit, but hopefully it explains itself well enough.

**A Stable Float**

Rufus's eyes drifted lazily over the simple jewelry on sale at the Kalstad market. Despite being aimed at poor folk, their selection was as good as any. The princess had been raised around such splendor that simple charms were more attractive to her. It would be better to give her something with meaning, something of him that she could keep.

"I just need a cord--a thin cord with a smooth clasp," he said. "Something that won't catch on long hair."

The salesman went about finding such a thing with little interest, annoyed that someone dressed in clothes as ornate as the green-haired man's would only be interested in a single cord. Rufus waited patiently and then paid the man his asking price without initiating the haggling process that residents of Kalstad seemed to take so seriously. That improved the seller's mood, but Rufus was no longer paying attention to him.

As if this could make up for what he had done to her.

As his thoughts for the nigh uncountable time returned to Alicia, he heard her voice. At first he thought it was in his mind, a bright and chipper calling of his name. She hadn't sounded like that since it happened. Her mood since then had been not quite as morose as his own, but he had ruined the way that she was. Finally, after losing everything else, she had grown strong enough to smile and laugh again. He managed to ruin that in a single night.

"Rufus!" she shouted cheerily, proving that it wasn't his imagination. She smiled brightly and her hands clamped possessively onto his arm. "Oh, I have to talk to you!" she said, sounding relieved and hopeful as ever.

"So talk," he said, and cringed at how abrasive he sounded.

Alicia, thankfully, took no offense to it, but quieted her voice as she leaned closer to him. "I have to talk to you iprivately/i."

He wondered what all this was about, but nodded and followed her to the inn. That was his next destination in any case--to meet her there after she so suddenly asked if they could split apart for a while. The way she sounded this morning, he thought she might mean it more figuratively. He thought she was asking him not to touch her or look at her longingly ever again, but apparently he had worried over nothing. She led him by the hand, smiling all the way.

The rooms in Kalstad were sparse, having no carpeting and little furniture. This was to help keep the place cool more than anything. The inn was one establishment in the town that actually made good money; they even offered free meals to their guests. Windows were always open to let in breezes, and there was a broom in each room to keep sand out. The beds were cots, more comfortable in the heat than mattresses.

Alicia stepped into their room first, pulled him in after her rather firmly, and then shut the door. She closed the shutters, though light still shot into the room in thin beams through the slats. This confused him greatly because they were on the second floor, and the issue was ihearing/i, not iseeing/i in any case. She stood with her hands on her hips seeing if anything else could be done to secure the perimeter.

"What are you trying to hide?" Rufus asked her, honestly having no idea.

"Nothing!" she replied, and took his hands in hers, facing him. Her hands shook a little in anxiety. He was still a bit too confused to be nervous yet himself, but it was coming on.

"What's with the mood swing?" he asked her next. "Um... not that I'm not  
happy to see you feeling better, I just..."

"I went to see a midwife today," Alicia said, smiling sweetly as her cheeks flushed a delicate rosey pink. He was almost too distracted by the adorable color of her face to catch what she was saying.

"What? But you can't possibly be--I didn't--I ican't/i--!"

"Oh, no!" Alicia gasped and dropped his hands to clasp hers over her mouth. "I'm not pregnant if that's what you think--"

"Sorry, sorry," Rufus sighed in relief. He knew that his own face must have been drained pale at the very thought of doing that to Alicia. She had suffered enough for what he had done.

Alicia's eyes softened again. Her hands parted away from her mouth, but remained at her cheeks as she continued to blush. "I just needed to ask someone... about what happened..."

"I told you it's my fault," he said. "It was all my fault."

"No no!" Alicia argued, hair spinning around her head as she shook it in disagreement. "She told me..." he voice grew quieter as she grew more anxious. "She told me that it always hurts the first time--for everyone. But only the first time!"

"H-huh?" Rufus stammered, eyes wide and questioning. "Why would it be only the--" he choked up here and coughed to clear his throat. "Why only the first time?"

"Something about... a part of the woman that has to break..." she looked back up at him, eyes shining. "So there's nothing wrong with me at all, I am so happy!"

Rufus was still stunned when Alicia's body slammed into his front in a fierce embrace. Her arms slid underneath his and squeezed him about the waist. "I..." he started to say, but could not shake the feeling that he had done something horrible, no matter how convinced she was.

"I thought I was just a terrible lover," she whispered bashfully. "I'll do it right next time."

He wrapped his arms gently and carefully around her, eager to embrace her again. He thought that she would be afraid of his touch forever. "Alicia, you never did anything wrong, it was me."

She slid away just far enough so that she could look up at him. Her blue eyes widened with confusion. "But you didn't... I thought for certain that it must not feel good at all for either of us... that's why I was so scared."

He released a deep breath which had been held in tension and hugged her tightly, pressing her against his chest. His chin rest at the top of her head where he could smell her hair and feel every curve of her against him. "It felt so good," he said. "But only for me. That's why I hated it."

"She... she told me to try again as soon as possible..." Alicia whispered, even quieter now than before. "I think we should do as she says, it could be important."

Rufus laughed for the first time in several days. "I think so too."


End file.
